Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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