How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
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All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
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Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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