ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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