I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize