Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize