There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize