4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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