Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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