fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The adults are the big ones right?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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