I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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