It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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