Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
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She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
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This is my life. Enjoy the view
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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