Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
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No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Boobs speak an international language.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
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Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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