I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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