In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
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It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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