Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize