My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize