i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
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I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
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Drinking loves me for WHO I am
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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