that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
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The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
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My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I am naked and annoyed.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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