Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize