the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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