new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my night got REAL pukey
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize