I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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