I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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