Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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