You can't motorboat a personality
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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