If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize