I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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