who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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