There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
the liver wants what the liver wants
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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