I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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