honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
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In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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