Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won. http://tfl.nu/68w0
  Replies (4) Good night (780) Bad night (885) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (956): I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward http://tfl.nu/ltxx
  Replies (187) Good night (5336) Bad night (1204) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me".... http://tfl.nu/dlub
  Replies (22) Good night (6421) Bad night (810)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun. http://tfl.nu/l7dj
  Replies (14) Good night (3470) Bad night (714) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for. http://tfl.nu/14r7
  Replies (8) Good night (748) Bad night (3531) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well. http://tfl.nu/yavz
  Replies (21) Good night (1801) Bad night (2503) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (218): Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about http://tfl.nu/idfh
  Replies (23) Good night (1281) Bad night (6080) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today? http://tfl.nu/2t0w
  Replies (20) Good night (5085) Bad night (977) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle? http://tfl.nu/vxb0
  Replies (15) Good night (1006) Bad night (3379) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early .... http://tfl.nu/6r9w
  Replies (12) Good night (2400) Bad night (732) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas. http://tfl.nu/cnc6
  Replies (13) Good night (3162) Bad night (532) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up. http://tfl.nu/1byu
  Replies (1) Good night (1205) Bad night (342) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon http://tfl.nu/xq47
  Replies (3) Good night (190) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door. http://tfl.nu/cryx
  Replies (5) Good night (244) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place (1-515): I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck http://tfl.nu/93u8
  Replies (2) Good night (373) Bad night (96)

Randomize