In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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