It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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