If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize