I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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