Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize