Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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