Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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