here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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