areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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