hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
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Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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