just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
How does one acquire holy water?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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