i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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