All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize