Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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