WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize