Taylor Swift is so right about you.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
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Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
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And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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