Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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